


a candle to remember

by BlueSapphire718



Series: pitch black (but you can see the stars) [5]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Canonical Character Death, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, KEITH GETS A FAMILY, Keith's Wolf is named Kosmos, Khuran is Kolivan, Kosmos adores little Keith, M/M, Mentioned Keith/Lance - Freeform, Merged Bodies, Minor Antok/Kolivan (Voltron), Post-Kerberos Mission, Pre-Kerberos Mission, Protective Kolivan (Voltron)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-07
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-17 22:27:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21700732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueSapphire718/pseuds/BlueSapphire718
Summary: Keith gains a family and learns about his heritage.Adam and Shiro are determined to figure out this mysterious man.And Khuran? He needs to focus on his mission (despite how his heart is aching for dead comrades and how he needs to save everyone again-) and take care of Keith, not entertain two humans.(Or, an AU where Keith gets the family he needs, Shiro and Adam soon realizes there's more to Khuran, and Kolivan grieves and gets a new pride.)
Relationships: Adam & Keith & Shiro (Voltron), Adam/Shiro (Voltron), Keith & Kolivan (Voltron), Kolivan & Adam (Voltron), Kolivan & Shiro (Voltron)
Series: pitch black (but you can see the stars) [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1261637
Comments: 6
Kudos: 59





	1. Chapter 1

When Keith is six and small and bouncing through foster homes, he meets someone with violet eyes like his, a vertical scar across one eye and a weird-looking one on the side of the right cheek, and streaks of white hiding within long, braided black hair. 

“Who are you?” he asks curiously. “Are you a girl?”

“I’m... a friend,” the ‘someone’ says cautiously, before narrowing eyes at him. “I’m a male.”

“So... a boy?”

“... yes. I suppose if what you E- people call it.”

“Okay,” Keith says. He doesn’t know why they’re ( _he_ , Keith reminds himself, even though _he_ has a braid and that’s only for girls) still standing there awkwardly. He doesn’t know why _he_ ’s here either, but _he_ ’s shifting awkwardly and if there’s one thing Keith hates, it’s when someone doesn’t tell him their names.

“I’m Keith,” he continues, and proceeds to ignore the surprised look _he_ ’s giving him. “What’s yours?”

“I’m... Khuran.”

“Hi, Khuran! Wanna play?”

That’s how he first meets Khuran.

* * *

Khuran is quiet, Keith learns when he spends more time with the one who bothers to listen to him talk. He doesn’t speak unless it’s to correct his speaking or to comment on something he did. Khuran is serious, though, and he doesn’t understand what he says under his breath when they bump into someone.

Not that Keith minds though. Khuran is the only one who bothers to ever listen to him and to see him like he’s someone and not a thing, unlike his foster parents. He wonders if Khuran would ever become someone that can take care of him.

So he decides to ask.

“Khuran?”

“Yes, kit?” He will never understand why Khuran will keep insisting on calling him ‘kit’ instead of ‘kid.’ It’s weird, but really cool at the same time, like he has a nickname that no one else has. He likes it, though, no matter what other people think.

“Would you adopt me?”

The other pauses from reading the book in his hands, looking down at him with a curious look and a slight tilt of his head. “What brought this up, kit?”

Keith squirms under his gaze, before he looks down to the ground and kicks it. Maybe Khuran doesn’t really want to adopt him after all? He keeps the disappointment inside him instead of voicing it out loud. “I was just wondering,” he says quietly.

Khuran looks at him carefully. “If I were not a kit myself, kit, I would adopt you immediately,” he says instead as he goes back to his book and flips a page. 

He doesn’t understand why the other would call himself a ‘kit,’ too. “Why?”

“Because I am currently thirteen decaphoebs, kit,” Khuran says dryly, flipping to the next page. Keith scrambles up to peer at the mysterious words the other is reading, and he can’t even understand it. And he knows English. “Or to translate it for your tiny self, thirteen years of age.”

“... what.”

“It means I am too young for those... social workers to consider me as a pridemate for you. Or in your terms, as a guardian or a family member to you.”

“Oh.” Keith still doesn’t understand what he means, but he nods anyways so Khuran doesn’t realize he’s confused. “So you would adopt me?”

“Always in a heartbeat.”

* * *

Keith is eight when Khuran takes him to a tiny shack in the middle of nowhere and sand, with something that barks at them from the porch. He freezes, ignoring the amused look the other is sending him as he steps forward.

It’s a big blue dog with stars glittering on its’ back and he wants to be its friend.

“Is... is that a dog?” Keith asks hesitantly, stepping closer.

“A Cosmic Wolf, to be exact,” Khuran says quietly, lifts a hand to motion the dog ( _wolf_ , his mind whispers in excitement) to come forward. He doesn’t know what a Cosmic Wolf is, but he likes the wolf already. The wolf barks loudly, bouncing forward and rubs its snout against his face, makes him giggle. “Do you like him, kit?”

“Does he have a name?” He burrows his face into soft fur, and he can’t help but giggle louder when the wolf licks his cheek with a slobbery tongue.

“His name is Kosmo,” the other answers softly, bringing up a hand to stroke the side of the wolf’s face. Keith stares in awe at the really pretty stars on Kosmo’s back. “A... friend gave him to me when I needed help, but he’s doing okay.”

Kosmo only yips happily.

Keith stares up at Khuran in curiosity, because he doesn’t know what else to say. “Can I be his friend?”

“He’ll always be your friend,” Khuran promises mysteriously, ruffles his hair gently. 

He trusts those words.

* * *

**_He can’t help but scream as his ward breaks away and runs towards the Druid chasing after them. His lungs feels like fire and fear overtakes him when he sees the Druid’s magic flashing at its’ hand. “Keith, don’t you dare-“_ **

**_“Just run! Run! Save the damn universe! Go!”_ **

**_The Druid laughs, the sound cruel and grating at his nerves. It only serves to feed his fear, and forcing unwanted memories forth in his mind. “Running away again, little leader? Watching me kill all of them in front of you again? How unlikely of you!”_ **

**_Flashes of purple streaks through the edges of his vision, and he continues to run, only looking back. Memories make him slow down, the way others have screamed his name when they are shot down and maniacal laughter filling the air._ **

**_“Don’t talk to him like that!” his ward yells, his blade flashing out as he swings it into the Druid._ **

**_“Remember how I_ ** **killed** **_your precious bondmate in front of you while on the Komar?”_ **

**No, no, nonononono-**

**_Fear grips his heart._ **

**_“Or when I killed so many of your precious recruits in front of you? While you were helpless to stop it?” The voice grows louder and louder until it’s right upon him. “Such is the fate of a miserable leader.”_ **

_He wakes up to the sound of the wind whispering harshly against the window, heavy breathing and gasps escaping him as he reaches for his blade._

_And wonders if he’ll be enough to save everyone._

* * *

When Khuran first brings Keith to the desert shack with him, he is eleven and ready to start a new chapter of living with his new guardian.

Which includes cuddling up with Khuran when the other takes him onto the porch outside. Kosmos pads up next to them, lays down next to him and lets his tongue roll when Keith strokes his back. He feels warm and safe near Khuran’s side, leaning next to the other.

“Keith,” Khuran murmurs to him. “Look to the sky.”

He obeys, looks up and sees the stars twinkling above his head. Gapes in awe as the tiny stars sparkle and seemingly blink out of existence and back. He can hear Khuran letting out a soft chuckle as the other picks him up and places him on his lap.

“They’re so pretty,” Keith breaths out, unable to keep his eyes off of the stars, barely able to notice Kosmos settling next to them. “What’s out there?”

“Our ancestors,” Khuran says, and when Keith looks over to peer curiously at the other, Khuran’s eyes giving nothing away. “There’s an old _vrartom_ about how when someone close to you dies, their spirits fly to the skies and become a star. They watch over you, trying to give you advice when you’ve lost your way.”

“Really?”

“I’m not sure, kit. It’s an old _vrartom_. I wish I could know.”

(He learns _vrartom_ is a word for old legends, and he doesn’t say a thing later that night when Khuran closes his eyes and allows tears escape him.

Keith is fast asleep by then.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I gave up and started writing this, and it's actually a pretty interesting premise to write about. I already have several chapters being written for this, and hopefully I can update at the same time with my other fics!
> 
> This is set before season 1 starts, just to clarify for y'all. I also planned out how I thought the Galra species are like, and their vocabulary. It's great.
> 
> Terms:  
>  _Vrartom_ \- Galran for 'old legends.'  
> Kit - A Galran term for kids. Usually reserved for Galrans between 0-300 decaphoebs.  
> Pridemate - A Galran term for 'family members.' They each have a 'pride,' small families of around 5-8 Galrans, excluding the kits.  
> Decaphoeb - The space term equivalent to year.
> 
> Enjoy!


	2. Chapter 2

Shiro is just talking with one of the teachers of the school he’s just recruited from, when a loud roar of engines catches his attention. A hover bike parks nearby the school, the rider hopping down and brings up scarred hands to take off the helmet.

Violet eyes meets his own, and he stared at the lean man who casually uncoils a long braid from around his neck. A vertical scar crosses his left eye, another scar curving along the same side on his cheek.

His movements are silent, and he knows a soldier when he sees one. The stiff movements of the man as his eyes dart from side to side, as if he’s preparing for danger to pop up from. His hands twitch to his belt and Shiro can’t help but feel his cheeks flush red from embarrassment when the man catches him staring.

“That’s one of the students’ parents,” the teacher observes, and he spins around to stare at the smirk across the teacher’s lips. “He picks up one of my students with that hover bike of his. I believe he’s also the guardian of one of the recruits you managed to recruit.”

He stares at the teacher for a little longer, before his gaze latches on the sight of the other man passing his helmet to a familiar boy. _Keith_ , his mind supplies as he watches the boy chatter happily with the man and the man saying something in turn. 

They hop onto the hover bike, Keith sitting in front of the man and they both drive away from the school. Shiro can’t help but continue to stare at the back of the man’s head until he’s a tiny dot in the distance.

“His name is Khuran Kogane,” the teacher offers in a helpful tone.

His mind only short-circuits.

* * *

He’s only shopping for groceries for him and Adam when he bumps into someone. “Sorry,” Shiro says as he looks to see who it is, and his mind stops when he sees familiar violet eyes. He blinks a few times to make sure he’s got the right man. “You.”

Delicate eyebrows rises in an unimpressed look, before the man ( _Khuran_ , his mind corrects him) continues to stare at him. “Me,” he agrees, shifts the basket in his arm. A glint in his eyes appears before vanishing to give a neutral stare. “What do you want?”

“Uh, I was shopping,” Shiro explains as he holds his own shopping basket, gives him a sheepish smile. He eyes the amount of food and supplies in the basket, and he wonders how the man even managed to carry so many items in a single basket. “Do you need help...?”

“No,” Khuran says curtly. “I do not. Thank you, though.”

He swallows, unable to keep his eyes away from him. “So, I see you know Keith.”

“I thought you would already be aware that I am Keith’s guardian?” the man asks dryly as he turns around to pick up a soup can in the corner. He turns it around, examining the can before placing it back with a disgusted snort. Shiro can’t help but notice the man’s braid draping over his shoulder.

“I wasn’t aware until the day I came to the school and you picking up Keith,” he admits, turning to the other side and picking up a can of... corn beef. He can work with that. 

“I see.” That gives nothing away. When he turns to look over at the other man, Khuran is only looking in between the cans of soup and the beans. “There’s better things to do than to gawk at me, S-“ A pause. “Mr Shirogane.”

“Just... just call me Shiro,” Shiro says weakly, carefully noting the slip-up.

“... Khuran.”

That is their first introduction to each other.

* * *

Then he sees Khuran everywhere.

In the library, the gym, the grocery store, on the _streets_ -

Shiro can’t seem to get rid of the man who somehow manages to worm his way into his heart. And it was during one grocery store trip. Adam only laughs at his misery when he explains his predicament to him, a smirk gracing those perfect lips as they laze around on the couch.

“I’m serious, Adam!” he whines as his boyfriend leans back against him. “He seems to be popping out of nowhere!”

“I mean, he could have a crush on you,” his traitor of a boyfriend says, strokes his fingers through his hair. Shiro nearly melts in his gentle touches on him, before he remembers what kind of situation he got himself into.

“Adam!”

“I don’t mind a threesome,” Adam says in a serious tone, making him turn his head around to stare up at his boyfriend’s face. He looks thoughtful, determined, and he’s slightly afraid what the man is thinking. “I’m serious. If you really like him, Takashi, then tell him and I’ll accept it. You deserve to be happy as much as I am.”

Shiro swallows, reaching up to touch Adam’s cheek. This man’s too selfless, always sacrificing his own joys to put Shiro’s needs before him. There’s too many reasons why he loves this man, and this is one of them. 

“I’m sure that’s not necessary,” he says through a strangled tone, because what Adam just said affects him. Affects him to the point where he doesn’t want to share Adam with anyone else and visa versa. “All I need is you, Adam.”

(If Adam starts crying and holding onto him tightly after those words, well... Shiro won’t say anything.)

* * *

It’s night and Shiro’s walking down the streets slowly. The lights flicker above his head, the occasional noises of cars rolling past him as he tries to hurry back to Adam. He’s just been to the grocery store for some fruits that was on sale. 

He’s about to make a turn around the block when a quiet sound of a knife flicking open catches his attention. Curiosity grates at him, makes him silently walk towards the alleyway he heard the sound from. A group of four men and women surrounds a single familiar figure, silver glinting in the dim light.

“Well, pretty boy, we just want you to come quietly with us,” one man purrs, seemingly leering at the figure. “Are you going to come or not?”

“I fear you have the wrong person,” the figure’s voice coolly replies, and Shiro’s heart freezes because that’s _Khuran_ ’s voice. Then... Khuran’s in the middle of a kidnapping. “I have no reason to go with you when I never even met you before. Now leave me before I make you.”

“Brave words.” A woman brandishes her knife, her back towards Shiro as she walks menacingly closer to the Khuran. Violet eyes flicker towards Shiro, like he knows he’s there, before sliding into an unfamiliar stance, hands grasping at something. But the message is clear; _come and try_.

An animalistic roar comes from the same woman, who charges towards Khuran with her knife raised above her head. Shiro opens his mouth to scream at Khuran to run, but Khuran’s already moving. He drags something from beside his hips, and-

**_Clang!_ **

_Oh_ , Shiro thinks dazedly as Khuran holds his ground, a small dagger pushing back against the woman’s knife. That’s why he wasn’t scared; Khuran already had a weapon with him to defend himself. There’s a strange symbol on it (he can’t tell what it is from the distance), and the man seemed to have control over the situation.

“Pick on someone your own size!” the other man yells, rushes towards Khuran. The other reacts quickly, pushing the woman away, and meets the man’s knife with his own. Then Khuran brings up _another_ dagger and shifts his footing to slash it down.

A dodge, then a snarl. “You fucking asshat!”

Khuran doesn’t answer, too busy parrying blows from the second woman who decided to attack while the man’s attention was diverted. He quickly forces the knife away, spins a dagger in one of his hands to have it faced downwards. Shiro can see the man’s chest heaving for breath, fear gripping his own heart as he tries to move.

To help.

His body doesn’t obey him, too enamoured by the way Khuran is fighting. It’s a dance, the way Khuran’s body advances and slides, as if he’s been in fights like this before. Except, it’s like he’s expecting gunshots by the way his body is weaving. 

Maybe he’s too distracted, but while he watches Khuran counter attack after attack, the other stiffens up and stumbles. Shiro feels his eyes widen when he sees scarlet red creeping along Khuran’s clothes, then to the man who has a smirk on his face.

Uneasiness swarms in his stomach, while his mind screams at him to help Khuran and to run with him. He doesn’t move in, but he does shift himself to run in when the other can’t escape.

“That’ll teach you to talk back to us,” the man growls, grabs Khuran’s braid. A grunt of discomfort escapes Khuran as he doesn’t struggle, not bothering to try and escape the man’s grasp on him. “Now, then, come with us quietly or I’ll-”

Suddenly, the man falls and his hand on Khuran loosens, the quiet _thud_ of the body hitting the ground. Silence occurs, shatters by Khuran’s heavy breathing as the other shifts his body to step away from the fallen man. He sheathes his daggers, glancing towards Shiro as he speaks.

“Leave.”

The group flees.

Khuran finally shifts his gaze and Shiro feels small, like he wants to hide from that flat stare of disappointment. “Get out, Shiro.”

He runs.

(He doesn’t notice when Khuran lifts a soft-glowing blue hand and places it on his wound. Heals the man on the ground. The red stops spreading, and tears finally run down when he collapses to his knees, loud gasps escaping him. A few moments later, violet eyes closes just as a wolf takes hold of him and both pop out of existence.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got no clue on how to write fight scenes, but this was the best I could come up with. I'm very sorry to disappoint you all. So, I want to develop the relationship between Khuran and Shiro, but I also wanted to stress out the importance of Khuran being willing to _kill_ when needed. 
> 
> I love the relationship between Adam and Shiro, but I'm not going into it until later chapters! The threesome that Adam mentioned was actually the _first_ idea I had if Khuran was to have a romance. I am glad that didn't happen!
> 
> Enjoy!


	3. Chapter 3

When he enters the library, he expects no one at his usual table but there’s someone there, quietly reading a book. Adam silently walks to the table, slightly surprised someone would actually sit there. The man shifts violet eyes towards him, bewilderment flashing through them before the man schools his expression into a neutral one.

A long braid wraps around his neck, acting like a choker, streaked with both black and white while scars litter the left side of his face. He wears a ridiculous kind of clothing that can only be for the winter. Adam cannot deny that it suits the man.

Not that he’ll admit it.

He doesn’t say anything when Adam sits on the opposite side of him, shoulders relaxing as the man refocuses on the book. Glancing at the cover, he blinks in surprise when the familiar title goes through his mind. “I didn’t know people still liked _The Chrysalids_ ,” he says.

It’s an old book, by John Wyndham. But it makes for an excellent tale, especially for a science fiction novel. He had to do a book study about it back in high school, but it was worth it, to realize there are other books like it.

The man jolts, looks up to watch him cautiously, a guarded look on his face. “It’s... fascinating to read,” the man answers carefully as if he’s being interrogated. “About the... mutants and this book’s ideology of only wanting the pure race. Perhaps even the ability to guess what would happen as an aftermath of war.”

Adam grins, delighted to find a fellow bookworm who likes reading the old books from the twentieth century. “I like your book choice. What chapter are you on?”

“Chapter twelve.”

“Then you’re almost done, maybe I can recommend another book to you,” he offers, taking out his laptop and his own book. The man blinks in surprise. “What? Thought that I was going to bite? You’re kinda stuck to me now that I know your preferred choices of books.”

He sticks out his hand, giving the man a smile as he continues. “Name’s Adam. Yours?”

A pause before the man reaches out to grip his forearm instead of his hand. “Khuran.”

* * *

Everytime Adam heads to the library now, Khuran is sitting at their usual table, reading the book he would recommend the last time they were there. There's a comfortable silence between them, Khuran reading while Adam works on marking his students’ papers.

Once in a while, the man would bring delicious drinks for them both, refusing to share the recipes with him (but he’s okay with that). It’s a routine, trust, something Adam doesn’t want to break or lose. It’s something special between him and Khuran.

So when Adam finds Khuran writing down characters he can barely recognize, the man muttering something under his breath, it makes him pause. Because this usually isn’t part of the routine they’ve settled down on. He clears his throat, makes the man look up at him blankly when the pencil hovering over the paper.

“So, what are you doing?” He slides into his usual seat, glances curiously at the papers. They’re scattered across the table, all spread out, but they don’t touch Adam’s side of the table. “What’s the language?”

“Writing,” Khuran says as his eyes fly across each line he’s written and writes some more down. He’s not going to be deterred easily, Adam realizes. It slightly reminds him of Admiral Sanda, who doesn’t let her concentration go on a rampage. “Dead language. _Vrok_ , this isn’t what I wanted down...”

Dead language?

That explains little to him, but it does explain some of Khuran’s behaviour. Paranoid, scared, the flat look, expressing no emotions...

“Need help?” Adam asks, already knowing the answer to the question. Khuran is stubborn, less so than Shiro, but it’s enough to keep him wary.

“Perhaps later.”

(It really is later when Khuran motions him over and speaks rapidly of a hoverbike design, and he would be drawing out the design soon. He had asked him to look over it, and well, how can Adam refuse?)

* * *

_He struggles to pull Keith back, his ward screaming and thrashing in his hold as he reaches out to the wreckage. “No! You have to let me go back!” Keith screams, still moving, struggling, and he wonders if he has to knock him unconscious to move him out. “Lance. Lance!”_

_“We have to get out of here, Keith,” he growls, feels his ears flick at the faint sound of footsteps. It could be a Druid, or even one of the Galra Commanders coming to see who was near the wreckage of the ship. “He wanted you to be safe.”_

_Keith snarls. “Big words for someone who nearly sacrificed himself after being told to be safe.”_

_The words hit him in the guts, causing his breath to stutter and tighten his grip on his ward. Those words are true, no matter how much he didn’t want them to be. Like Antok._ You’re too much like Antok _, he thinks to himself as he drags Keith back again. Too destructive, too loving, too much pain to handle._

_“Lance wanted you to get out of there,” he retorts, and he knows how much the Blue Paladin means to Keith, knows how much they mean to each other. “He knew the risks, Keith, and he took it anyways, because he knew you would be saved.”_

_His ward freezes in his arms, before going limp with his head bowed. He can hear the tears falling down, feels Keith’s body shaking and trembling with soft sobs tearing out of his throat. He doesn’t say anything, hiding them under the cover of boulders as footsteps storm past them._

_He doesn’t say anything when Kosmos finds them, and teleports them back to Allura._

_Another loss._

_Another day to lose again._

_It doesn’t help to remember Antok’s missing body when he prepares for another raid._

* * *

Shiro comes back home with a kid in tow, and said kid is looking at him with a look of mixed curiosity and wariness. Weirdly enough, the kid reminds him of Khuran and his strange quirks, even though he’s kinda cute with that mullet. He doesn’t say anything yet, looking at him carefully as he stands from the couch.

“This is Keith,” Shiro introduces after a moment of silence, giving a wide smile. “Keith, this is Adam.”

“Nice to meet you, kid,” Adam says, sticks out his hand to shake. Keith stares at the hand, before he reaches out to grasp Adam’s forearm and grips it tightly before letting go. That was also what Khuran did to him when they first met, if he can recall.

“Nice to meet you, too.” Keith smiles warily, before narrowing his gaze on him, nostrils flaring. “You know my guardian?”

His what.

“Your what.”

“My guardian,” Keith repeats like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Adam tilts his head to the side, confusion swarming inside as he tries to remember. He never met Keith before, so how would he know his guardian? “You keep meeting him in the library.”

“Uh, I don’t think so?” Adam replies as he struggles to think of an answer. “Give me the name?”

A roll of eyes. “Khuran.”

Khuran, the one bookworm he keeps meeting in the library and considers as a friend- wait, wait, wait. What. _What_. “ _Khuran_ ’s your guardian?” he asks in disbelief, receiving a nod in return and no wonder Keith looks a little familiar; he looks like a nearly tinier vision of Khuran.

“Yeah, he is,” Keith says with his head tilted, a faint smirk on his face and Adam can’t help but stare at the boy. He really _does_ look like Khuran.

Adam only flashes a smile at him. “Well, then, say hi to him for me.”

* * *

  
It’s a few months after meeting Khuran is when Adam learns that _aliens are real_ , and holy shit, Khuran is an _alien_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to explore Adam's friendship with Khuran by this point, and it's actually really interesting to guess how Adam's personality is.
> 
> "The Chrysalids" _is_ a real book, by John Wyndham, and it's a really fascinating book to read. I would absolutely recommend it to those who are into science fiction!
> 
> Terms:  
>  _Vrok_ \- The Galran term for "fuck" or "shit." Mostly used like the Altean curse word, quiznack.
> 
> Enjoy!


	4. Chapter 4

If there’s few things Kolivan has regretted, it’s not raising Keith. His ward. Krolia’s son. The Red Paladin. The human boy who slowly changed his mind about secrecy and turned his thoughts to how to _save_ and _preserve_ _lives_. The Blade who integrated himself into Kolivan’s life and part of his pride.

He regrets not telling Antok he loved him before the Galran’s death at the hands of the Druid. About not being able to receive his body when he ran to save Allura from the collapsing Central Command of Zarkon. Regrets not being true to his mate about his insecurities. About not loving him enough to let him know he’s loved.

He regrets not sharing with Allura how his own seniors and elders told him the tale of how the Altean princess was one of the symbols of hope back then in the beginnings of Blade of Marmora. Regrets not telling her that she has a pride in him and Keith. Regrets not being able to save her when she sent him back.

He regrets telling Ulaz it was a mistake to save the Black Paladin, and that he was a fool to think Shiro would be enough to save the universe. Regrets not being able to save Thace when they faced Zarkon. Regrets not listening to Krolia when the Blade of Marmora faced one of their hardest challenges.

He regrets every one of his Blades’ deaths, when he led them against the Druids. When he sent them on those missions that meant certain death. When he broke protocol and lost some of his fellow Blades because of it.

There’s so many regrets he cannot forget, and Kolivan’s already buried underneath and drowning.

* * *

“We will need to make a small ritual for this,” Allura explains as she flicks out the plans in a hologram. Kolivan cranes his head to see the complex runes and carvings scattering in a small circle, each presenting a different meaning, from what he can see. Soft blue basks the cave they are hiding in, with the last bits of Altean technology sitting on the ground.

Keith glances down at the ground before he twists his head to meet Allura’s eyes. “Basically, we need to draw those symbols on the ground, somewhere safe, so we can all go back?”

“You need Altean blood to activate it,” Allura corrects him, before she flicks out another hologram. “It’s an ancient Altean ritual that hasn’t been corrected for thousands of years, since it’s completely unstable. No one has ever succeeded in travelling back through time in decaphoebs, even with this ritual.”

“You are planning to sacrifice yourself in order to send us back,” Kolivan notes flatly, feels Keith stiffening beside him as he leans against the wall. He didn’t think he needed to be sent back, especially when he’s made many mistakes and decisions that cost others.

The princess meets his own eyes steadily. “Perhaps I am, perhaps I am not,” she says mysteriously as she flicks out another hologram. He doesn’t know what she’s thinking, though his heart squeezes painfully from the thought of the princess being dead.

“We need to get as many supplies possible if we succeed. I suggest all of us learning Altean, Galran, and the most common Earthling language just in case. Most languages, anyways.”

His ears flicks forward. Learning Altean would be extremely useful, especially if they manage to go back in time. _If_ Keith _manages to go back through time_ , Kolivan recorrects himself. He doesn’t need to go back through time, he can make sure Keith will make it and himself die a warrior’s death.

A bark from Kosmos catches his attention, making him turn around and see the Cosmic Wolf drag in a carcass of a dead... whatever that is. Earth animals are stranger than what he’s encountered so far. Lance shows up from behind the trees, also dragging another of the same animal.

Keith perks up. “You got us deers!”

“A what?” Allura asks in confusion. _Why would humans call an animal as an endearment?_ he wonders to himself. The Altean princess echoes his question.

“Oh my god. It’s just edible, okay?”

* * *

Kolivan doesn’t know how long it’s been, when they started working on the ritual. Allura is busy, carving ancient symbols and runes into the cave’s floor, before she redoes it again. Keith is grieving for Lance, hunting for them and bringing back food, while he trains himself mercilessly.

He doesn’t do mostly anything, just guarding and patrolling the small area they’ve set up as base, learning two new languages, relearn his own knowledge of planets and languages (and all the knowledge he possesses of too many subjects), and teaching Allura and Keith how to speak Galran.

Allura already knows ancient Galran (he’s very pleased with that, most Blades have to learn ancient Galran as well, himself included, just so most Galrans of their time don’t understand them), but Keith still struggles with pronouncing some words.

That’s fine.

He struggles with trying to pronounce some _English_ words and he wants to know what kind of human decided that a single species should have over 6,500 languages (he looked it up on their internet). _Dialects_ , he would understand, the Galran has them, too. But _languages_?

There are times where he wishes he can just curl his hand around the human who decided English must have this many rules to learn the _vrok_ ing language and _squeeze_.

* * *

He finds Keith in front of the graves.

Kneels down next to him and he places his palm on the ground, feels it humming with life as he closes his eyes. He doesn’t usually pray for his fallen comrades, but Kolivan can’t find it in himself to not, opening his mouth to whisper a small prayer to Marmora to guide them.

“We’re the only ones left,” his ward breathes beside him, makes him reopen his eyes and glance over to the kit. Keith’s eyes are dark, cast to the ground as he tightly holds onto the last memoir of Krolia. The blade flickers faint indigo before fading away. 

“Yes,” Kolivan agrees quietly, trailing his eyes along the graves and names they hold. The Paladins of Voltron, Krolia, the last few members of the Blade of Marmora, Coran, the allies of the Voltron Coalition... all of them are dead. There’s no one left other than Keith, his Cosmic Wolf, Allura, and himself.

There’s so much to do and prepare before the ritual even starts, while grieving for the loss of their fallen pride, friends, and comrades.

“Do you think that...” Keith falters for a moment, violet eyes gazing over in pain, and he can’t fault the little one for it. He’s already lost the family he’s built.. “That we can go back through time? To the past? To change everything?”

“You heard what Allura said,” he says bluntly. “The ritual is completely unstable, and they don’t know what happens to the ones undergoing it. The worst we can assume is it will kill all of us.” He feels a little regretful when Keith flinches. “For now, we can believe that it will take us back through time.”

There’s silence after his words, Keith quietly absorbing what he has said. Then, “If you went back, Kolivan, what would you do?”

An innocent question, but it’s full of curiosity and intent. There’s too many events he wants to change; to raise Keith in the Blade of Marmora, to save Antok from his fate, to turn away from the Druids’ supposed treaty of alliance, to save his fallen brothers-

Yes.

There’s too many he wants to change.

“Far too many things, kit,” Kolivan finally says. “Far too many things.”

* * *

They all stare at the small circle of runes and symbols.

Kosmos whines at the sudden hush.

“I’m gonna be honest, Allura,” Keith says with a murmur of horror and scepticism in his tone as he eyes the circle. Kolivan has to wonder if it’s big enough to fit all of them, especially since he’s larger than Keith and Kosmos combined. “Is that big enough to fit all of us?”

“Just you and Kolivan,” Allura corrects him, then she pauses when Kosmos seems to be giving her a look. “And Kosmos, of course.”

His ward looks stricken. “You’re not coming with us?”

“No, this ritual needs Altean blood to do this correctly,” the princess answers, looks grim as she quickly hands them a bag. “I will be quick about this. Your souls are not going to be merged with your past selves. Instead, you will be coexisting with your past selves, since my blood will be ‘absorbed’ into your bodies. That will stabilize you in the past.”

“My blood being mixed in yours might mean you will gain some Sacred Altean abilities. I am not sure which ones, but you will get some of them.” The princess gives them a stern look, before she continues on.

“Now, this bag has Altean technology in it and some food, in case you managed to get yourselves stuck in the middle of nowhere on Earth. There’s some Galran technology in it as well, but I didn’t see what it was when I placed it in-”

Keith interrupts her, pulling the Altean into his arms and hugs her tightly. Allura freezes, before her eyes tear up and she’s hugging him back just as tightly. Kolivan looks away from the moment in front of him, lifting his hand to rest on top of Kosmos’ head. It’s something private, something he doesn’t want to take away from them.

“When do we leave?”

“Tomorrow.”

* * *

(Allura tears up with a saddened smile as she watches Kolivan roar her name, cradling Keith so close to him and Kosmos curling close and howling, too. They vanish from inside the ritual circle, a soft blue shining around them and fading away to nothing.

She hears screams behind her, the heavy scent of iron entering the air as the last of the screams then slowly dwindle to nothing. Turns around to see a tail flicking on the ground, a large blade dragging next to it.

“Are you ready?” she asks breathlessly.

“For him?” a voice full of love and grief whispers in answer. “Always.”)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say, to those who put kudos on this, you guys are my motivation to finish this. So thank you so, so much!
> 
> Kolivan is just as vulnerable as other people and aliens, and I plan to take full advantage of that while having fluff. Just because he's a hardened warrior doesn't mean he can't feel! I also plan to explain the Altean ritual, but I might not expand into that just yet.
> 
> Feel free to guess what happened to the others while I write this!
> 
> Terms:  
>  _Vrok_ \- A Galran curse word equivalent to "fuck" or "shit." Mostly used like the Altean curse word, quiznack.
> 
> Enjoy!


	5. Chapter 5

“Again.”

Keith grits his teeth as he steadies his dagger, feels pain streak throughout his body. His guardian stands in front of him, seemingly relaxed in the desert heat. Khuran barely looks like he’s sweating, holding the blade in his hand like it’s nothing, like he’s been wielding it forever-

Wait, Khuran _has_ wielded it since forever. He curses himself for forgetting his xenobiology lessons of a Galran’s body, but he absolutely despises it. Though, Khuran barely looks like the Galrans he’s seen in the small holograms they use.

“Well?” Khuran asks, violet eyes sharpening at him as he lifts his blade to the side. It shrinks into a smaller size, the size of his own dagger, and the man spins it downwards with ease. He slides into an unfamiliar sword stance, beckoning Keith forward.

Gripping his own dagger tightly, he quickly charges towards his guardian and slashes down onto his wielded arm, only for Khuran to dodge the attempt. They rapidly fall into a dance, blades clashing every so often with light steps dodging every lunge. He licks dry lips as he forces Khuran to go back, pain erupting from every part of his body.

He still keeps going.

Dodges a swing of the man’s blade and feels it flash dangerously in his eyes. Ah, shining the sunlight into his eyes, a _great_ trick to use. Keith squeezes his eyes tight to prevent it from blinding him, before he feels a hand on his arm.

His eyes fly open to see Khuran yank him forward and flip them around, effectively pinning him. Sand flies into the air as he lands on his back, showering into his eyes, forces him to try and blink them away. Above him, Khuran breathes slowly, one hand on his shoulder and the other on his forearm.

“Very good, kit,” his guardian says, climbing off him and picks him up with ease. Keith only grunts in response, feels frustrated at his own performance. “You realize you can and will have to use your surroundings as an advantage against me.”

Keith twists his head to stare at him. “I can _do_ that?”

Khuran raises his eyebrow, looking unimpressed with his answer. “Did you think this was going to be a fair fight?” he asks flatly.

Oh.

He must have said it out loud when Khuran says, “Then you know what to do next time.”

He very much does.

* * *

Shiro seems to be becoming more paranoid each time they meet up together in the Garrisons. He can see the stiffened back, the uneven breathing, smell the scent of panic in the air. He doesn’t know what to do exactly when the man isn’t even telling him what’s wrong.

So he goes to Adam.

“He’s panicking about something?” Adam repeats as he places down his binder of papers and tests. Keith can smell the dried ink and he wrinkles his nose at it. The scent of it is too strong for his liking. “And you came to tell me this now? Of all times?”

The tone of disappointment and exasperation is very evident.

He shrugs, casually steals a cookie from the plate Adam set up on the table. Earns a scowl from the man as he slowly chews on the snack, savouring the taste of sugar and oatmeals and chocolate. Khuran barely bought any snacks to their tiny shack before, and now that he’s at the Garrisons dorms, he could eat as many as he wants to.

Not that they’re any good, but they’re the only kinds of cookies the Garrisons even _have_. Adam and Shiro are the only ones with common sense to buy the _good_ kinds.

“Khuran’s gonna kill me for letting you eat my cookies,” Adam mutters, eyeing him warily as he takes a seat and grabs the first sheet from his pile. Keith can’t really blame him; Khuran’s patience nearly had snapped when the man watched him devour so much ice cream and cookies _at the same time_.

The reminders continue to this day.

“I barely eat cookies,” Keith points out flatly.

“Fair.” Adam finishes the sheet and moves on to the next one. “So, you wanted to ask me why Shiro seems to be panicking? When I had no clue about the situation until you told me?”

“Yeah.”

Adam’s hand seems to have tighten around his pen as he lifts his head to stare at Keith. He continues to chew on his cookie, and he has to wonder what did he do to Adam _now_ . He does not like the look on his face, and he does _not_ like how the man is wielding his pen like a sword.

“Keith, you are an _idiot_.”

 _Keith_ is very offended.

* * *

_When he opens his eyes to dim light and the sounds of loud screeching of something rubbing against a hard surface, he pauses. Takes a breath of air slowly as he tries to comprehend where he is. It’s full of disgusting scents of metal and rubber, and something seems to be missing-_

_A wet nose nudges him gently, makes him turn around to see Kosmos whine quietly. The scent of distress enters the air, making him shudder. He doesn’t know what’s happened, but all he knows is that there’s something wrong._

_Kosmos nudges him again. “What-“_

_Then he realizes what’s wrong._

_Keith is gone._

**_Keith is gone._ **

_Keith is_ **_dead_** _._

_(_ **_Dead, dead, dead-_ ** _)_

_“Ah.” Kosmos only nudges him, licking his cheek as the wolf curls around him. Warmth radiates inside him from the small action, before he glances up and reaches out for the bag beside him. Strange. He feels more…_

_Tinier._

_There must be a reason for that. He can’t flick his ears, either, he carefully notes to himself. He can’t feel his ears and he can’t feel the usual strength in his body. Keith’s body is missing, too, but it has to be nearby, since he’s here and-_

_He looks down at his hands (his mind is shrieking,_ **_Earthling, Earthling, Earthling, Keith, nonononono-_** _) and screams._

* * *

“Oh my god.”

“What is it?” Khuran asks tiredly from the nest, peers up and squints at them. Keith doesn’t know whether or not to be afraid that his guardian would murder them, because he _did_ bring in someone that Khuran is slightly unfamiliar with to their home. Their safe-place. “... Adam?”

“Is... is that a fort? Of pillows and blankets?” Adam asks after a moment of stunned silence, causes him and Khuran to stare at the man in confusion. “Did you guys literally buy pillows and blankets to _build a fort_?”

“This is a nest,” his guardian grunts, curling closer to the edge of the nest and glares at them. _Ah, he must have been up all night fixing his hoverbike_ , Keith realizes with a wince. The only way to even get the man tired these days was from the lack of sleep, fixing his hoverbike, or from the amount of nightmares he has.

“What are you doing here?” Khuran continues.

“I came with Keith?”

The glare on Khuran’s face intensifies as he turns it towards him and he lifts his hands in mock surrender. “I just wanted someone to look after you for a bit while I go out,” he says truthfully as he steps away from the nest. His instincts shrieks at him to curl up next to Khuran.

He ignores them.

His guardian huffs before motioning Adam to head into the nest. “Take off your shoes, I don’t want something hard here when I’m trying to sleep,” he says tiredly, burrowing himself deeper into the nest. Adam looks too stunned to move.

“Are you coming in or not?” Khuran snaps, looking irritated as he looks up again.

“Jeez! Okay, okay!” Adam cries, takes his shoes off and hurriedly steps into the nest. “Don’t have to be a fucking grump!”

Keith only smiles and walks out the door.

(He comes back later to see Adam and Khuran curled up next to each other, and his guardian purring softly in his sleep. He’s okay with this.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5 is here! I am currently working on all of my fanfics, and hopefully, this one will be finished by the end of January or February!
> 
> **Terms** :  
> Kit - The Galra term for a child, or "kid."  
> Nest - A nest is a place for a Galra pride to sleep in together, usually out of multiple materials that are soft. The size of a nest can be adjusted very easily. It's considered a safe-place by a pride.
> 
> Enjoy!


	6. Chapter 6

_“I’m going on the Kerberos mission.”_

He still remembers the way Adam looked at him with that look of betrayal, anguish, and worry when he announced it to him and Keith. The fight they had when he told Adam he wanted (no, _needed_ ) to do the mission. His fiancé of a few months looked at him, took off the ring, and told him it was either Kerberos or him.

Shiro chose Kerberos.

And now he’s all alone.

Not really alone, since Keith supports him in his decision to take the Kerberos mission, despite his illness. His colleagues support his dream as well, with Iverson telling him to make sure to take care of himself. When he met up with Khuran and told him his decision, the man only nodded and continued with his tasks.

It doesn’t explain why Khuran dragging him out of his apartment and leading him to his hoverbike.

“Khuran?” The man throws him a helmet, swinging his braid around his neck and places his own helmet on. Shiro holds it in confusion, isn’t sure what Khuran is trying to do. “Khuran, what exactly are you doing?”

“Get on,” comes the curt reply, Khuran swinging his leg over the seat of his hoverbike and starts the engine. He obeys him, clambering after him on the hoverbike as he quickly holds onto the man’s waist. There’s a sense of annoyance coming from the man, and he isn’t about to encourage it to grow.

The streets and scenery blur together when the hoverbike passes by, Khuran carefully driving towards the outskirts of the city. The roar of the engine hums in his ear, makes him cling onto the man even tighter as they drive out of the city and into the desert.

He feels himself furrow his brows in confusion. “Why are we going into the desert?”

“You’ll see.”

* * *

He does _not_ see Khuran’s point of bringing him here.

Adam stares at him from the fort of blankets and pillows, before swivelling his head to glare at the smaller man. “Why the hell is he here?” he demands angrily, making Shiro flinch away, and it makes his insides burn with shame.

“I am tired of seeing you mope around in the nest, Adam. I wish to have my nights in peace,” Khuran tells the man flatly, hangs his jacket up into the small closet next to them, wearing a loose tank top. He can see scars littering the man’s top part of his back, before he feels another pair of eyes on him and he has to turn away from the sight of Khuran’s back.

Keith raises an eyebrow. “So what are you doing here, Shiro?”

“Uh...”

“Keith, get Adam’s hoverbike, we’re going for a ride,” Khuran’s voice cuts in, makes everyone’s head towards him as he changes into a different jacket. Adam’s jaws drop from the casual way the words are plummeted down, most likely to the offence they would take his hoverbike. “Get Kosmos, too, he needs a break.”

“Hell yes! I got it!” the boy cheers as he grabs a set of keys on the couch and rushes outside. Khuran dips his head towards them before following Keith, the click of the door deafening in the silence between them.

Shiro swallows heavily, looks away from his ex-fiancé, unable to look at him in the eye as he shifts nervously. Adam doesn’t say anything, either, though he can hear the man moving inside the fort... nest... whatever it is. Maybe Khuran’s an alien?

“... I’m sorry.”

Jerks his head at the soft words, before turning towards Adam’s face full of guilt. He manages to squeeze a few words from his throat. “W-What? What for?”

A mirthless laugh escapes Adam. “A lot of things.”

Shiro stares at him, before he shakes his head and walks over to him. “Let’s talk?”

“Sure, Takashi.”

(When Khuran returns back home with Keith, Shiro and Adam are cuddling in the nest, and he can’t help but softly smile at the sight. Reminisces at another fond memory before he pushes it away and joins his new pride.

He needs to tell them.)

* * *

**_“Leader.”_ **

**_He’s back in here again, facing Antok in that black void of nothingness, before it twists away into a training room. Makes himself look down, and it’s his younger self with no aches in his bones, no wounds and scars that make him close his eyes and beg._ **

**_It’s Antok’s voice that drags him back, and he looks into familiar lavender eyes. “May I court you?” the Galran asks in a soft tone. This was back then, when he had just became leader, before everything he cherished was gone._ **

**_He opens his mouth. “I-”_ **

**_Something clamps down on his wrists instead, interrupts him, forces him to look up and he’s in the cave,_ ** _he’s in the cave_ ** _-_ **

**_“Little leader,” a familiar voice purrs, one he has learnt to despise and fear. A wrinkled hand grabs his chin and forces him to look down, yellow sclera widening with satisfaction as the Druid’s smirk grows wider. “Welcome back. Ready for some entertainment?”_ **

_He can’t move, he can’t move, hecan’tmovehisbodynotagain-_

**_The Druid drags a frozen body into the cave with magic and his heart stops, because that’s Antok. Antok is in front of him, frozen in time and about to be killed again. “No,” he rasps, but the Druid ignores him, brandishes the sword to penetrate through his bondmate. He struggles to_ ** _move_ ** _. “No!”_ **

**_“Too late, little leader.” And blood spills._ **

**_A scream rips out from his throat. “Antok-”_ **

_His eyes flashes open, breathes heavily as he immediately sits up and looks around wildly. A quiet howl echoes outside the shack._

_Oh._

_Just a dream._

_He can’t deny how real it felt._

* * *

“Repeat that again,” Shiro says, watches Khuran roll his eyes in exasperation.

“I am what you Earthlings would call an _alien_ ,” he answers dryly, and seemingly ignores the way Adam’s eyes seem to be bulging out of his eye sockets. If he’s honest, Shiro’s slightly worried about Khuran’s head and his fiancé’s mind.

“This is a good prank, Khuran,” Adam says slowly. “Never knew you had it in you.”

Khuran sighs, before he glances over at Keith and calls out, “Kosmos, come here please.”

“Who’s Kosmos-”

A flash of pale blue light appears in front of them, before a large wolf is barking at them and padding over to Khuran. The man calmly strokes the fur on the wolf’s head, keeping his eyes on them as he gives a mirthless smile. “Well?”

Shiro stares incredulously. “... _fuck me_.”

“Language,” Keith chirps. “And only Adam reserves the right to answer that.”

“Keith!” Adam shrieks, looks mortified as he tries to hide his blushing red face behind his hands. “What the hell! Why would you say that?”

Khuran only shakes his head in amusement.

* * *

When he steps out of the shack for fresh air, he finds Khuran spinning two swords and gliding around gracefully as the man thrusts into an invisible opponent. It’s easy to get hypnotized by the way he’s moving, advancing and dancing with the swords catching moonlight on silver.

Shiro slowly claps when Khuran finishes, with said person tilting his head to the side when he catches sight of him. “Those were some nice skills,” he comments mildly as the man walks towards him. “Didn’t realize you could do that.”

Khuran snorts. “You have watched me fight before when I was cornered in the streets, have you not?”

“I did.” He still does, and he can remember how effortlessly the man seemed to draw the group of muggers into a false sense of security back then, how he managed to fend them off, and- “Did you really kill that man?”

“No. I did not,” the other man answers quietly, sits down on the porch and places the swords beside him with a _clang_. “I would not needlessly kill someone when they have did nothing wrong to him... even if they did try to corner me and threatened Keith,” he adds after a moment of silence.

He only sits down next to him, watching the man turn his head towards the sky with a soft hum. There’s so much he still doesn’t know about Khuran, and he wants to learn more about his friend. About his culture and his species. _Well, there’s no time like the present_ , he decides as he offers the other a smile. 

There’s nothing that prepares him when he opens his mouth and Khuran says quietly, “You remind me of _him_.”

That makes him pause. Who is Khuran talking about?

Even when Shiro pesters him about the mysterious person he mentioned, Khuran doesn’t say anything else after that.

* * *

(Shiro is forced to learn about Khuran’s alien species and language, knowing that he has messed up something when Khuran stifles a chuckle.

The following month, he takes off for the Kerberos mission.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On the Kerberos mission Shiro goes! Keith is slightly different (maybe a lot), since he has Khuran to raise him. I'll let you guess who Shiro reminds Khuran of. The next chapter should be up by next week!
> 
>  **Terms** :  
> Nest - The Galra term for their sleeping place. It's made of pillows, blankets, anything soft, really.
> 
> Enjoy!


	7. Chapter 7

“Altean? You mean that you want to teach me an alien language?” Adam asks as he sips a cup of coffee, places it down on the table and crosses his legs. Khuran only takes a bite of his sandwich, looking as if he’s barely paying attention to him.

He can’t blame him for being distracted; Shiro’s on the Kerberos mission, Keith is at the Garrison’s, and he himself is teaching Keith’s generation of pilots. Khuran has no one to spend time with these days, and he barely looks alive on his feet. Practically dead, if he has to be honest with himself.

“Khuran?” he tries again, before Khuran’s head snaps up and the man looks startled. “You okay?”

“A-Apologies, repeat what you have just said, Adam. And I am fine.”

Frowning, he leans over to pluck the sandwich out of the man’s hand and watches as his eyes follow the action. “For someone that’s so distracted, you don’t seem fine,” he says, placing the sandwich down in front of him. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Khuran snatches his sandwich back from him in a swift movement, taking another bite and curiously tilts his head to the side. “Why are you asking that?”

“Because you’re my friend, Khuran,” Adam answers easily and honestly, with Khuran stiffening at his words. The man’s eyes widens considerably with shock at the words he speaks. “I’m not lying. You’ve been there for me and Shiro for a long time now, and seeing how you’ve managed to take care of Keith at the same time, I’m wondering how you haven’t gone insane yet.”

The man only shakes his head. “I have not,” he flatly says. “It is only my duty to care for him, and to an extent, you and Shiro. It is nothing else. We... I am not your friend.”

He can tell it’s a lie that Khuran keeps telling himself.

“Maybe we’re not _friends_ ,” he says, and the man narrows his eyes. “But, we’re a pride. Your pride. Right?”

Surprise flickers in Khuran’s eyes, before he tilts his head back and lets out a hoarse laugh. It’s like he hasn’t been laughing for a long, long time, and Adam lets him. “Yes,” Khuran admits. “You are.”

* * *

There are times when he can’t help but feel _defeated_. Alone. Weak.

Shaky gasps escapes him as he curls on the couch in his apartment, tears blurring his vision as he tries to make sense of the situation. Grief weaves itself throughout his body like brambles, rendering him immobile, despite how much he wants to _move_. His hands shake as he continues to stare blankly at the ground.  
  


_“The Kerberos Mission is a pilot error, says the Garrison-”_   
  


Shiro is _gone_. When he found out about his fiancé’s fate, he couldn’t help but scream at Admiral Sanda for her declaration.  
  


_“Pilot error? That’s bullshit and you know it, Admiral Sanda! Takashi’s one of the best pilots at the Garrison, it’s not fucking pilot error-”_

_“Calm yourself, Officer,” Sanda says coolly as she stares at him with narrowed eyes. “It is pilot error, regardless if Shirogane is an exceptional pilot-”_

_Her words fades away and leaves him numb._   
  


“Adam?”

He jerks his head up at the quiet call of his name, before he stares at the familiar face of Kosmos sitting in front of him. The Cosmic Wolf gently licks his face and nuzzles him before turning his head up towards other two faces, a small whine escaping him. “K-Khuran?” Adam asks weakly, immediately hating how weak he sounds. “Keith?”

“We were worried about you,” Keith explains as he scratches behind Kosmos’ ears. “And... yeah.”

 _Keith was close to Shiro_ , he remembers as he stares at the boy, before he looks towards Khuran. The other man has a perfectly neutral expression, but his eyes betray him. Anger and grief flickers through his eyes before Khuran reaches out with his hand.

Adam stares at it, lifts his eyes to stare at the man in confusion. “Shiro is not dead, despite what the other Earthlings are thinking,” Khuran says flatly as he continues to hold out his hand. “So are you going to come with us to figure out where he is or not?”

 _Where Shiro is_. It isn’t that hard of a situation to decide, and Khuran being an alien means he knows quite a few places where Shiro could be. Swallows, looking at Keith’s solemn look while Kosmos lets out a yip of anticipation. Khuran is the hardest to read now, his hand slowly withdrawing.

He takes it.

(Adam resigns from the Garrison the very next day.)

* * *

_There’s blinding pain when he finally makes himself conscious._

_With a hiss , he shakily pushes himself to his feet, and takes a look around with a wary eye. There’s metal containers surrounding him, the room glowing a soft fuchsia, though it’s still darker than what he’s used to._

_Stumbles when he tries to walk towards the door, before he leans against a container, heavy breaths escaping him as he tries to make sense of where he is. He travelled back to change everything, he remembers as he lifts his hand to examine. To save everyone he’s known and loved._

_His hand has five fingers now, no claws, though that’s to be expected. Yet, it feels natural, more so than before._

_The smooth slide of metal catches his attention, before he turns to face a towering masked figure. It’s the familiar blade that he also_ **_has_ ** _beside him that makes astonishment and bewilderment grow, while relief washes over him like a wave. He’s really made it back._

_“Who are you?” the figure demands, points the blade towards him in a threatening manner. “And how did you get here?”_

_He only smiles mirthlessly. “I come in peace, and I need your help.”_

* * *

There’s movement beside him, and Adam can only turn around to watch Khuran shifting in sudden jerks and soft murmurs.

Leaning closer to the man, he gently shakes the man’s shoulder, watches how Khuran continues to murmur and let out a soft cry of “ _No-_ ” while his hands move. “Hey,” he says softly, close to Khuran’s ear. The man doesn’t stir. Keith and Kosmos are both lucky to not hear this. “Khuran, you gotta wake up.”

Khuran twitches, and Adam shakes the man’s shoulder harder. “Khuran, wake up-”

A hand suddenly grips his wrist, makes him freeze before he’s slammed onto the floor of the nest with a force of steel. Gasps for breath as he struggles against the assailant and freezes once more when something sharp presses against his neck. Khuran looms over him, violet eyes slitted, yellow sclera, his breathing harsh in the silence.

Claws seems to be prickling his skin as Khuran tightens his grip on him and presses the sharp thing deeper into his skin. Terror shoots through him as he tries to escape the man’s grasp, but something in his eyes makes him still, waiting, skin turning purple and blue. It’s like the man’s waiting for something-

“A-Adam?” Khuran’s quiet voice asks, and he looks at him, _really_ looks at him, and the man’s normal. No skin colour change, no slitted eyes, no yellow sclera. Nothing. Only violet eyes of fear flickers in his eyes before vanishing. The grip on his wrist loosens and the sharp thing is removed from his neck.

He gives him a weak smile and sits up. “Hey. You looked like you had a nightmare.”

“That should not concern you right now,” the man says curtly, tucking what seems to be a dagger under his pillow. So that’s what the sharp thing was. “You should be sleeping. Not awake and...”

Khuran trails off, before looking away from him, grips his own shoulder tightly. He understands, despite the lack of words. “My point still stands. You should be asleep.”

“I’m part of your pride, Khuran,” Adam snaps, feels his anger rise. “I’m supposed to help you. How am I going to when you aren’t going to let me?”

The man’s eyes hardens. “Do not concern yourself with me. I can handle myself just fine.”

“You call this fine? You call having a nightmare that’s obviously preventing you from sleeping _fine_?” Khuran only adverts his eyes from him, and he can’t help but feel betrayed. Betrayed that after all they’ve been through together, he won’t trust him. “Why can’t you trust me with this? To let me help you?”

Silence occurs between them, and his heart sinks when the man only turns away from him, his movements stiff in the nest. He’s about to sink back down to sleep when Khuran’s voice finally breaks the quietness.

“It is not you,” Khuran finally says, tone is filled with regret and grief. “It is I. Do not take it personally. I am just not ready yet, despite us being a pride.”

It’s not much of an answer, but it’s all Adam has.

(When he watches Khuran nuzzle Keith’s cheek with his own, Adam can’t help but wonder what made the man suffer so much to avoid talking about his past.)

* * *

_Wrinkled hands are lifted to be observed, and he feels his smirk widening behind his mask. All around him, his fellow people are working, discussing, observing the Emperor and the High Priestess. All he can remember is the blast, a dream, and most importantly, the new appearance of his enemy._

_He lets out a shrill laugh, ignores the looks towards him, and doesn’t stop the task he is assigned to._

**_I’m coming for you, just wait and see, old_ ** _friend_ ** _._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're almost to the end! Khuran and Adam's friendship together is actually really interesting to write.
> 
> **Terms** :  
> Pride - The Galra term for family. It usually consists of 5-8 Galrans, including kits.  
> Earthlings - The Galra term for humans.
> 
> Enjoy!


	8. Chapter 8

“Khuran?”

He lifts his eyes to meet the determined look in Keith’s eyes, before glancing down at his datapad. With a sigh, he places it down beside him and tilts his head to the side. “Is there something I can help you with, kit?” he asks warily.

There’s always something for him to do on the datapad, like calculating how long Shiro has been gone and when Ulaz will free him. Thankfully, the Galran technology Allura sent back with him reverted to the original movements and decaphoebs that he’s used to. Not these ‘months’ and ‘days’ that the Earthlings came up with.

Sorrow flickers in his guts when he’s reminded of Allura and his other Keith. Both gone, dead in their former future, and he can’t help but still feel like he’s lost a part of himself with them when he came back. Careful to hide the emotions on his face, he raises his eyebrow at his ward when he mumbles something.

“Speak up, Keith,” he says quietly. 

His ward swallows, before opening his mouth to speak. “Did... did you know my mom?” the boy asks quietly as he shuffles his feet.

Khuran furrows his brows. “Your _orjax_?”

Keith has never tried to ask him about his mother before, other than the few times he’s mentioned it. Krolia was, still is, a touchy subject for him, let alone to speak about her with her own son. Her screams echoes through his mind as he stares at his ward.

“Yeah. My... or what?”

“ _Orjax_ ,” Khuran corrects him, shakes his head from his thoughts, presses his lips together to focus on Keith. “You know I cannot tell you much about her,” he says gently, and watches how his ward shrugs and sits next to him. “If I do, there is a chance she will not survive.”

A half-truth, but Keith doesn’t need to know that. There’s already too many incidents where he’s lost several Blades because of him telling them where their pridemates are. Too many bonds, connections, they have to risk it all for a single mission. And many have died because of it. He refuses to let the same thing happen to Krolia and Keith.

“I know, I know,” Keith grumbles as the boy leans against his side. “But, tell me what she’s like, at least. Is she like me?”

He lets out an uneasy chuckle. “Far too much,” Khuran admits as he lifts his arm to curl around his ward. The wide violet eyes of Keith makes him smile, since the boy is still very much a kit. “You are both reckless, loyal, enough to get yourselves killed.”

It’s happened before. Before he came back. Before he gained his second chance.

If his voice slightly wavers when telling Keith about the time Krolia nearly set their mess hall on fire, that is his own issue.

* * *

_She flinches when she hears the familiar clanking of sentries patrolling the base, before focusing her attention at the task on hand. There’s something eating away in her mind, whispers of something she should know right now. It bothers her, the way she doesn’t know what’s going on._

_Typing in the code to her quarters, she walks through open doors and breathes easily once they close behind her. It’s getting harder and harder to mask what she’s feeling, especially when her Commander’s giving her cool looks of disinterest._

_Perhaps meditation would do; she usually ends up refreshed after a session of it._

_An image flickers through her mind, of someone familiar laughing with her as they sit near a small fire. Pushes it away to allow her fingers to fly across the small device to allow her to communicate to outer sources. Preferably her commanding officer._

_There’s no getting distracted, no-_

_A sudden barrage of images, streams of voices, familiar ones, and she can’t help but let out a scream and curl into a ball on the floor. She feels like her mind is getting ripped apart, pain circling her like she’s prey. But memories grow sharp, vivid, and she gasps._

_Voltron._

_Keith._

_They_ lost _._

_They all lost._

_One last image flickers through her mind, of a human male whose hair is braided, with familiar scars and haunted violet eyes. Him. It’s him. She needs to get to him, because she knows who it is. Shakily stands and presses her hand against her communicator._

_He needs her._

**_And I need him._ **

* * *

“So... where are we going?” Adam asks as Khuran glances back at him, before focusing his attention on the road. He remembers how his other Keith led him and Allura to where the Blue Lion had resided for thousands of years, remembers the affection in his voice when he spoke about it.

“A place,” Khuran finally answers as he stops near the secret entrance, “where a part of Voltron resides.”

“The giant lion robot you told me and Keith about?” That phrase slightly irritates him, but he doesn’t show it, only hops down from the hoverbike. Both Keith and Adam came up with it when he was explaining the legend of Voltron, and while it’s disrespectful, it’s also very accurate.

“Yes, your so-called ‘giant lion robot,’ Adam,” he says dryly.

“I’m beginning to think you just dragged me here to just torture me,” Adam tells him as he follows him towards the hidden entrance. Khuran snorts at that, before lifting one of his blades out of its sheath and wills it to grow, to allow it to guide him.

It pulses with his life force, and melts into a larger blade, the one he’s used to, one he’s always had nearly his entire life now. His other Keith’s blade hums in unison with his own, and he feels his lips curve into a faint smile. It gives him a sense of hope, even if his other Keith is dead and he’s left with his ward’s blood.

Spins his blade with familiar ease before slashing at the entrance with it, hears the clash between metal and stone, and rocks fall apart. Adrenaline streams through his body as he stands in front of the entrance. Adam gapes at him, before shaking his head at the sight.

“I should have known that you could do that,” the Earthling says with a grin. “You big tease.”

He lets out a snort. “I’m already taken for,” Khuran says mildly as he sheathes his sword and walks into the entrance as he hears Adam splutter. Even if his Antok is dead, Khuran’s heart would always, _always_ belong to him.

No one else.

Only his.

Lets out a shaky breath, and continues to move forward, hearing footsteps hurrying after him as Adam catches up to him. “Hold up, _taken_?” the man asks in an offended tone, a tone that speaks of disbelief. He has to let out another snort at that, because he remembers the reactions of his former pride when they discovered it, too. “You’re already _taken_?”

“I had a bondmate, yes,” he allows, before he spots the accustomed colour of teal and strides towards it, with Adam scrambling to catch up. He’s forgotten how Earthlings are slightly more prone to exhaustion than him.

“Bondmate? What’s-” Adam pauses at the sight of the Blue Lion, his mouth slightly open as he stares. He only shakes his head as the man lifts a shaky hand towards it. “Oh my god, that is beautiful as fuck.”

Khuran smiles. “This is the Blue Lion.”

* * *

_“Five,” he murmurs in pain as he presses a hand against his eyes. Somehow, somehow he’s back here in this nightmare and his head is hurting from all the memories, from the dream he had with a familiar figure who advocates for peace. “You are the third of five, she says. What the_ vrok _does that even mean?”_

_There’s no telling if he can escape this latest torture, but he’s sure going to survive it. Lets out a groan at the beeping near him, before he smashes his fist on the button to make it stop. It cracks in half, and he stares at the fault in the button and slides his gaze to someone he’s fairly certain he got killed._

_“Lieutenant, I request you make your way to the bridge immediately. There are slight... issues that I wish for you to address while I make my rounds around the ship.”_

_The communications flicker off, and he stares at the hologram before letting out a sigh. Yes, this is definitely a nightmare he can’t even escape from. He can’t exactly remember the last time he’s done this before, since-_

_Pauses at the thought, before furrowing his brows in confusion. Since what?_

_Since he died, he realizes. How is this possible?_

* * *

It’s the panic in Adam’s tone that catches his attention. “Khuran?”

He grunts in acknowledgement, lifting the box of supplies he has nearby and marches towards the house. Adam stands on the porch, squinting his eyes to something in the sky. Makes him place the box by the door and head towards the man. “What is it?” he asks flatly.

The man points to the sky. “There. What is that?”

“Holy shit, it looks like a meteor,” Keith says in amazement as he slinks out the door and stands next to them with Kosmos at his heels. Khuran follows their gaze, licks dry lips as he stares at the flaming star-like thing flying close to Earth. That looks slightly familiar.

“That does not look like a meteor, judging by its size,” he observes, flicking out a hologram to scan it clearer. It zooms in, allowing him to observe it from a distance, grimaces at the sight of the fire surrounding the thing. Then he freezes, his breath hitched and he feels nearly ready to fall over.

A Galra escape pod.

He can feel Keith and Adam’s questioning gazes on him. “Keith, get the bombs,” he orders, beckons Kosmos to him as he heads towards the hoverbike. His ward furrows his brows before nodding and heads back inside. He has to stop himself from rolling his eyes when he glances back. “Adam, stop following me.”

“You know something,” the Earthling accuses, crossing his arms as he starts the hoverbike and spares a look towards him. The man looks frustrated, angry, and there’s a hint of fear in the air as Khuran studies him.

“Perhaps,” he says flatly, and ignores the flat stare and continues. “I believe Shiro just made it back.”

That catches Adam’s attention. “What?”

“Exactly what I said, Adam.” Khuran swings one leg over the seat, mounts on the hoverbike as Kosmos climbs behind him. Keith runs towards them, a small bag hanging from his shoulders and he has to breathe. He nearly lost Keith to the explosion that cost Regris’ life, and he can’t help but flinch when he sees the small circular devices.

He meets Adam’s eyes. “I need you to stay here, and get ready to give Shiro a check-up when I come back,” he murmurs, and feels the hum of his blades whispering in the air. Keith glances at him and wraps his arms around his waist.

“We’ll get Shiro back,” his ward promises.

If they manage to get past this event that Khuran remembers his other Keith telling him about, then all they have left to do is to head to space. To unite Voltron once more, to face the Galra Empire and their path of suffering again. His inner struggles of facing all of them once more.

One question falls into his thoughts as he drives the hoverbike towards where the escape pod was headed towards and he can’t help but shakily breath from it; 

Can he face Antok again? After everything he did?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end of this fic! Thank you for everyone who stuck with this until the end. I am proud to announce that a sequel will be coming out either this week or next week, so if you want to, stick around for that! Until then, this is the end!
> 
> **Terms** :  
> Movement - The space term for a week.  
> Decaphoeb - The space term for a year.  
> Earthling - The space term for humans.  
>  _Orjax_ \- The Galran term for a mother-figure. This could be the birth mother or an adopted figure who acts like a mother for a kit.  
> Pridemate - The Galran term for a family member.  
> Kit - The Galran term for a child.  
> Bondmate - The Galran term for a partner, husband, or wife.  
>  _Vrok_ \- The Galran term for "fuck" or "shit." Mostly used like the Altean curse word, quiznack.
> 
> Enjoy!


End file.
